Don't Be Afraid to Ask!

One of my recent posts on LinkedIn received several second connection “likes” from people who did not also ask me to connect.  My first thought was to reach out and invite those people into my network.  My second thought was hesitation.  What if they liked my post but didn’t want to connect?  Should I wait and see if they connect with me or should I just reach out?  Back and forth I went.  How silly!  You’ll be happy to hear that I practiced what I preach and sent the invitations.  I have had some nice email exchanges and conversations as a result, and I expanded my network to include some terrific people who I had not previously encountered. 

 I was telling a lawyer friend about my internal debate regarding the invites, and she shared her own story.  She and a senior executive she had worked with were both at new companies.  She had thought about reaching out to him to reconnect, but she hesitated because she did not want to bother him.  She had done great work for her former employer and was very accomplished.  Reaching out and letting him know about her new role would be potentially beneficial to the executive as well, but she had failed to consider that.  She had only focused on how the relationship would benefit her.  

 We had a good laugh as we looked at each other wondering why the other thought twice about reaching out.  So many of us hesitate in situations where there truly is nothing to lose.  If you reach out and someone doesn’t respond, you are no worse off than if you had never asked.  However, if you never reach out, the opportunities that connections can bring are lost.

 I once coached someone who wanted to completely reinvent herself.  She was a litigator handling family law matters for a solo practitioner and she wanted to move into financial services compliance.  She started by reaching out to people on LinkedIn who were in financial services doing what she wanted to do.  She had no connection to most of them and she did not hear back from everyone, but the people who did respond gave her amazing advice that helped guide her search.  As much as I advocate putting yourself “out there,” I will admit I was amazed by the responses she received and remember it as a lesson to be bold.  She was fearless and is happily two years into her new career. 

 Always remember YOU have something to offer in every relationship.  Be thoughtful in your outreach but don’t be shy.  Leverage your relationships and expand your networks.  There is no reason to hesitate.  Go ahead and ask.

Questions about how to be confident when reaching out?  Call or email me for a consultation.

Amy Goldstein is the founder of Grayson Allen, Inc., a New York based attorney search and career consulting firm. She has been providing career advice and recruiting attorneys for in-house and law firm positions since 2000.